Little Blue Hole
by blackflakes
Summary: He wants her and she doesn't know her choice. Her life is too hard and no one can get her out of it, but he wants to try. He wants to try to get her out of it but she doesn't let him in because she is too scared. A story about a girl with her dangerous life and hopeless soul, followed by a sweet, romantic boy that believes she is good and won't give up on her. Follow their story.
1. Prologue

**Prologue – Charlie Swan**

Our life seemed brighter with her coming. After seven years of marriage, God finally answered us.

She was so beautiful. God's little secret creature. She took my breath away the first time I saw her in the hospital.

_My little princess_.

I remember taking her from the doctor's hands. She was full of blood. Beautiful blood. I wanted to cry when I saw her. _Is this really my daughter? Is she really this beautiful?_

_Our little angel._

I brought her closer to my wife. She was full of sweats after her hard work.

"She is so you," I whispered.

She looked at little angel through her watery eyes. She smiled sadly before leaning closer to kiss her. She let one tear slipped down her eye.

"I love you both," she spoke softly.

I cut the distance between the three of us and wrap around.

"I love you too, with my whole life," I kissed her forehead.

I smile at the memories. The beautiful memories. It's been a week after little angel's birth.

My goodness, she's getting prettier everyday.

I just can't get enough with the thoughts of this little creature that comes to my life. I barely see her awake, cause she spends most time of the day sleeping. When I leave for work, I would kiss her and she is asleep and when I back late from work, she is asleep too. So, today I'm gonna be home early, hoping I would see her awake. It's six in the evening and I feel like I just want to be home with my two beautiful girls already.

But of course, I can't.

There's always shit that happens in this town every fucking day.

"How can I help you, sir?" I ask as Seth gives me the details of the problem. In front of me is a big blonde guy with a cap.

I look at the papers details of his problem.

Stolen car.

I clear my throat and look up at him. "Well, Mr. Phillip Dwyer, we will do our best to find the theft. I will send some of the officer to visit the place and do some research. For now, you can give all the information you know to my assistant here, Seth, and if you have any other problem just tell, Bill, the big guy right there," I stand up from my seat. "I've had a long day today, I'm going home now," I extend my hand as he stands up to shake it. "I'm sorry for the incident, Mr. Dwyer."

"Just Phil," he speaks out.

"Alright, Phil, I gotta go now," I want to let off my hand from his grip but he doesn't let go. Instead, he comes closer and speaks to my ear.

"How is your little girl doing? Does she look like you, Charlie? Does she have the same eyes as his dad?" he says bitterly with a smirk.

I can't move. I'm stuck in my position. He stands back to his normal position and look up at me. I see his blue eyes from under his cap.

"What do you mean?" I blurt out to him.

"What do you think?" he says sarcastically.

The blood in my body boils up. I feel my head is about to explode.

_What the fuck does he mean? What the fuck was that for?_

I put my hands on either side of me and stay silent. Thinking of the possible reasons of his words. My mind goes circles, avoiding the only shit I don't want to believe. But it stuck with one statement.

_It can't be._

I'm not really a punch or body contact kind of guy but right now, I really want to flies my hand on this guy's face, hard and bone-breakable. My knuckles are probably white because of my clenched fists.

_Calm, relax, or you'll lose your job._

With my unfinished anger, I leave the place and drive as fast as I can. Soon, I already pull over at my house. I take a deep breath and try to calm down.

_**She is mine, she is mine.**_

I keep replaying those words in my mind as I get out off the cruise. I walk slowly to the porch, not even trusting my steps. I'm scared. Terrified.

_What if... What if?_

Before I can process anything, Renee opens the door with a worry look. I stare at her convincingly, without a word. After some moment, she finally gets my stare and water starts to fill her eyes. The silent breaks with baby's cries.

"Where is she?" I run in pass her. I want to see my princess. I want to see little angel.

I open the door where the sound comes from. She is in her crib, crying. Her hands punching, her legs kicking. I walk in, step by step. My heart beats faster within each step. I stand by her crib, seeing her from my height. She is so small, so fragile. If I touch her, I could break her.

"Sshhh, Bella, it's okay, I'm here," I say quietly to her as I touch her sweaty cheek with my fingers.

She seems to get calmer by my touch. I smile at the angel under me. I know she will be a beauty when she grew up. And then suddenly her cries stops and she opens her eyes.

My fingers stop. The blood in my veins speed up. I move my hand away quickly. My brain doesn't work. My chest hurts. My body feels numb.

"No… no.. no no no please," I fall, I'm not standing anymore. My clothes feel tighter. My body trembles. Head down, hands on sides, knees on the floor. The world feels cold. The room doesn't feel right.

"NOOOO!" I cry out. "WHY, GOD, WHY!" I scream and cover my face with my palms. My voice fills out the whole room and makes _her_ cry again. But this time, I don't care. Because all I can see in my black sight is the same familiar eyes. The eyes that have no right to be in her. The eyes that colored as clean as the sea. The eyes that I know will haunt me for the rest of my life.

_**The blue eyes.**_

I hear a loud sob behind me. My hurt suddenly turns out to be anger. I stand up and go to where she stands.

"You bitch," I speak out in front of her face. "Why did you do this to me? Why didn't you tell me? After all these years you spent with me, how could you? I can't believe you, piece of shit!" I punch the wall behind her and let the blood covers my hand.

Renee cries harder, Bella too. And I don't know what to do.

"I'm so sorry, Charlie, I love you." she says through her tears.

"No, you don't," Bella keeps crying on her crib, louder each second. "Just take care of her," I lift my hand from the wall and leave.

I couldn't feel anything. I'm so numb.


	2. Chapter 1: Destiny

**A/N: Greetings. I have the thoughts about this kind of story since months ago and I want to make it happens. Enjoy x **

Chapter 1 – Bad Angel

"Come on! Pick me the fuck up!" I said breathlessly to the phone as I stop running from these motherfuckers.

"Shit. I'm so sorry, beb! I can't. I'm on my way to the airport right now. And if I go back to pick you, he will kill me for not taking the stuff." he says apologetically.

"Damn it. What do I do now?" I say, looking around to see if there's something I can use to kill these fuckers or there's somewhere I could hide.

"God, I don't know! Let me… let me think for a way, okay," right as he stutterly says that, I see an alley across the street beside a big house that kind of blocking it from where I stand.

I look over my back to find two heads of people at the end of the street, running. Oh fuck, I have to be hurry. I leave my breathlessness away and run quickly to the alley.

My bag is bouncing on my back. My hair is a fucking mess. And my face. I can tell, it is the worst shit in this world right now. My fucked up face got fucked up with another fucked things such as running and sweating. My shoes in my hand. My bare legs that are hurting and probably bruising because I've walked far enough. I just wear a very big sweater, Dimitri's actually, and the shortest shorts ever.

I finally get into the alley. A very dark alley. I can see nothing, nothing except a big garbage. No lights. I walk in, anyway.

"Oh shit," I blurt out. There. Fucking there, is a big wall that crossing my way to walk. Crossing my way to escape. It is a blind alley.

"Dim.. You really need to help me," I say in panic.

"Umm uh, maybe you… you can talk to them and say you'll give them the things tomorrow?" he says.

"Really, Dim? I don't know you were this stupid. They're fucking mad, they're fucking needy! They really need the thing! And they are fucking addicts for years, how could they handle waiting one fucking day when they were already nuts the minute I told them I didn't bring one? Please help me with a logical relief!" I scream at him and run back to the street, leaving the alley.

"Fuck. Sorry. My mind is not working right now. I really want to go back and pick you and beat the crap out of them. God. Just find a car first. I'll tell you how to do it after," he reigns.

I stop my run and stand beside a black vehicle that kind of old, I think.

"Found it," I say.

"Okay, now, bump against it to check the alarm." he tells.

I bump my body to the car until it moves like it was about to be stolen. Well, it is.

I wait for it to make a sound but, nothing.

"It doesn't sound. What's next?" I ask.

"Just break the fucking window." I take some steps back before I kick the window with my foot. I've broken windows back then to escape, so, it's easy.

I get in the car and drop everything that was on my back and my hand to the next seat.

"I'm already in the car. How to turn on the fucking engine now?" I ask. Curious about how many minutes I've spent to get here, I turn my head and look back. "Oh shit, they're coming. Hurry, Dim!"

"By-pass the ignition switch by shorting the appropriate wires, Bells." he says.

I do what he says quickly and the engine starts. I push the pedal and drive away. Sighing, I thank Dimitri and end the call. I sneak at the mirror to see two people yelling and pointing at me. _Fuckers._

I just get back from filming. From work. I'm so tired and so ruined. The fucking cameraman didn't get it and made me did five times repeats. My whole body screamed at me. It wasn't even good anymore, it turned out hurts, aches, and pains.

And the guy.

He told me nothing about the guy being this big, this oversized big. Well, for my tiny body, he was like a kingkong. The godfather of kingkongs. I couldn't even resist a fifteen minutes. I always lost. The first round he was so uncontrolled. He kept smashed and smashed and smashed into me like I wasn't a human. He got me, of course, I mean, _who doesn't like the end of the spot?_ It was getting more uncomfortable within times. I reached my first, he hadn't. I reached my second, he still hadn't. The cameraman told us to change style, and he went mad. He treated me worstest than the last time. He treated me like a goat. I reached my third and he finally released. Then I finally thought it was enough until the cameraman told us to do more. Fuck, I was about to say I can't hold it anymore until he came to me again from my back and drag me. It wasn't even 10 minutes from his release, _dammit_. Then after that, what we did was repeat, repeat and repeat with different shits as the cameraman told us to and still with him being so fucking strong and hit me with all of his strength.

It's official that I can't count how many times I jerked today.

It was good but after, it dreadfully tremendously exceedingly outrageously hurts.

And I finally decided, I hate that fucking guy.

He introduced himself to me after the filming had done, he said his name was Sam. He lived in Seattle but got a call from his old friend to come here to do this and so did he. He said he did this because he got interacted by my face when his old friend first showed him a picture of me.

Thanks to his old friend a.k.a my boss, Charlisle.

I pull over at Dimitri's. I let out a long breath and lay my head for a minute thinking about how painful today was. I finally grab all my things and get out of the car. I take steps from the stairs on the front porch, hearing nothing but bugs whistles. My hand reaches the doorknob and push the door open. I sigh in relief that no one is in the living room. The lamp is out and I can feel no lives here. I get in and go to my bedroom. Leaving everything on the floor, I roll up to the bathroom. I open the hot water and wait for it to be ready. Lifting my clothes and pants, I stare at the mirror. As usual, I think about my life. How it goes, how funny it is, how dangerous, how crazy, how hard, how fucked. It's weird at how I managed to stay alive in this kind of life. I wonder, why hadn't I killed myself? Why hadn't I moved and searched for freedom? _Why hadn't I be normal?_

The thoughts get my head drop and my eyes falling to the floor. A couple of tears let down my cheeks. The usual tears on the usual night and the usual place.

The hot water is ready and I get myself in. The heat makes my skin burn in a good way. I relax myself in the water. I lean my head on the edge of the bathtub and close my eyes. Hoping the hurts will be gone, hoping the bruises will disappear, hoping the sins will be forgiven. And at last, hoping the future will be better.

No, you cannot blame the other livings for what you'd done. Even though they are the ones who control you, you still do it by your own self, by your own hands. You could've just run and leave and they will be just curse at that fact and search for another living. But things get harder. You cannot leave and run because of some things. And these things are important in your life. Then what do you do? What are the other ways to escape? You cannot find one. So you just did what they told you and let them be your leader for good or bad things. It sucks, your mind said. It hurts, your heart said. It kills me, your soul said. And still nothing you can do.

Everyday you pray, for a way to escape, for goodness, for happiness and laughter. But everyday you find nothing, none of that happens, your life still goes the same as it has to be not as it used to normally be. Then one day, you get tired of praying, you get tired of things and you just go being the worst you can be, and after that, there's no regrets. There's just the world being upside down and you're on top of it, laughing. Finally, you can find laughter inside your life, without praying to change it. You can find a joy and the world being upside down with being the worst, with enjoying being controlled, and with living your shit life. And then you just stay thinking, why hadn't you done it before and found the joy earlier? Why did you cry over your unnormal life while inside it there's still laughter when you just live it without heavy thoughts? Why did you pray if this is what God wants your life to be? Why did you escape if this is a destiny?

These are my minds. The day I get hurts by living this life, I cry and wanting a normal life. The day I get happiness, I think about why would I want another life if this is the best I could ever get? And all of it ends up with; _this is the bestest life._

I hear a crack of the door being opened. I don't need to open my eyes, I already know who it is.

"I'm so tired." I say to him, still with my eyes closed.

"I know," he replies. The sound of his clothes being loose makes me sigh. And the voice of his belt and jeans drop on the floor gives me chills.

"Keep me." I speak as I feel him getting closer. He put his legs one by one into the water and he grabs my arm. He lifted me and positioned himself behind me and lean me again.

"I am keeping you, baby," he says softly to my ear. I throw my head on his warm chest as I hear his heart pounding like a beautiful song. His chin stays above my head, sometimes he sniffs at my hair and breathes lazily. His arm wraps on my waist, keeping me the way I liked it. His other hand is making circles on my hip which make me close my eyes and enjoy every bit of his warmth.

He is still my best guy.

I remember the first time I met him. He was on the corner of the room at my first shooting. I knew what to do. For the records, I watched how all these women do to the men. I turned to him every time I wanted to do an action and he just stayed there with his furious look, looking at me like protecting me with his gaze. His mouth was closed, his jaw tensed and his arms crossed. He stood like a statue, watching me. And at that time I realized, he was my hero.

"You're my best guy." I murmur through my half sleep soul.

He sighs and breathes on top of my head. "I know," he says.

He knows. But he can't. Why?

I just stay silent, I don't want to speak up to him. He has the reasons that hurt my heart more than anything. I don't want to argue with him and make myself break because I already tired.

* * *

The smell of pie wakes me up. The sun has already hit my damn windows. I stretch out my arms and my legs.

Ouch.

Of course, my body hurts. I lift my body and sit up against the headboard to see a glass of water and a pain killer on my nightstand. I quickly take them both and drown the medicine down my body. I lean my head and close my eyes to relax. The sound of voices downstairs doesn't help, though. Fuck time is it?

I bring my ass off the bed and change into a shirt and shorts. I was naked from last night. I take my phone from the top of the closet drawer and walk downstairs.

"Hey hey hey, good morning sleeping beauty," Emmett greets me as I step into the kitchen.

I smile. "Good morning, Em, what you have for me today?"

"Your one and only favorite, baby, _Blueberry Pie_." he turns around from the kitchen counter and pulls out my blueberry pie and put it in front off me. My stomach rumbles.

"You know, I fucking love you and would do anything for you, right?" I grab a fork and start to cut my pie and put it inside my mouth. I _do_ need food.

Emmett laughs and walks to hug me from behind. "You know, I wouldn't know if you don't tell me directly and kiss me, right?"

I giggle and turn to kiss his cheek and tell him I love him.

Emmett keeps telling me jokes as I finish out my pie. I couldn't do anything but laugh and forget the pain I had. It's eleven in the morning and the weather is usual, windy. Who am I kidding, _Forks_ has never done it wrong.

I take my coffee from Emmett and warm my fingers by the cup. Emmett is quiet now, gazing the plants outside from the window with a cup of tea.

"Where are the boys?" I speak, breaking the silence.

"Jasper and Garrett are buying some stuff." He answers.

"Oh," I take a gulp of my coffee and relax at the heat of it. It burns inside but protects me from the outside. He knows I'm not asking for the others. I'm asking for him. Where is he? Why did he leave me alone? Why was there just empty sheet beside me? But he knows, too. He will hurt me if he says where he is right now.

Emmett seems to see my thoughts and hands me a pack. I pick one and grab the nearest lighter and lit it.

After some inhales, I feel better. Goodness, this thing is so sickly cool. I look at Emmett who has watched me suck since the first inhale.

"I'm nothing but nicotine's bitch, Emmie," I say through my exhale and he smirks.

"Uh, what a new shocking sentence," he says. I roll my eyes and back to my love. "How was yesterday?" he speaks with an unsure voice.

I sigh. I don't want him to worry about this. "Painful," I can't lie to him either.

And of course, his gesture changes.

His fists clench by the cup. His jaw tightens. His stare could kill. "Who is the dick?" he speaks through his glued teeth.

"He's Carlisle's old friend," I shrug.

"I'm asking his name, Bells," he looks up at me and I hate it.

"Oh, come fucking on, Emmett. Since when have you known me, huh? You know I'm a big girl. I'm strong and tough enough to handle my things. And these dicks aren't exceptions. How many times should I tell you this shit?" I say angrily.

"Sorry," he sighs.

My angriness suddenly changes as Emmett's eyes meet the ground and his fingers play by the hand of the cup he has. It is now guilt. Guilt for making him like this. Guilt for making him thinks about the life he shouldn't give a fuck since the beginning and worry too much about it.

"Look, I'm sorry too, Em, but you know me, don't you? I don't like you boys to worry too much about my life while your own selves' life is already hard enough to take. Please don't do this to me. I can take care of my own life. And if one day I can't, you know that's the time when you can be like this to me and help me, right?" I look up at him with hopeful eyes.

I really don't want him to worry. I don't want anybody to worry about my life, about what I did, what I chose, and the consequences I got within it. They have their own life, why would they care about the others'? I don't get it. Since the beginning I came to the boys' life, I've told them not to worry about me and just because I'm the only girl between them, doesn't mean I'm weak and without them I would die, _no_. But still, for years, they still do it. They still worry, they still treat me like a little girl, they still think I don't understand this shit and what I did. All I told them was, _you don't know me_.

Not Garrett.

Not Jasper.

Not even Emmett.

The only guy that knows me between them is my hero.

When I told Garrett to fuck off and not talking to him for five months because of his stupid reactions about me giving some drugs to addicts alone at night. When I slapped Jasper in the face after he told me I was just a little girl that had no idea what I was doing. When I broke Emmett's nose because he wanted to beat Carlisle after he knew what my job was besides selling drugs.

I ran to him. Every time.

I cried on his shoulders and told him about the others didn't understand my choice. He held me tight as I kept crying and crying. Until my sob gone and tears stopped falling. He gave me an explanation about the reason why they were acting that way.

"_It was because they love you, Bella,"_ he said.

I frowned at the sentence. Love? What the fuck was that? If that was what they called it, I could do it too then. I love my shit. I love my choice. I love what I fucking did.

I spoke out to him then about my life since the very beginning and he didn't let go the warm wrap around my shoulders as I told him the hardest part. He sighed and promised he would be there for me whenever I needed him. I nodded but I didn't want him to worry too much about me and turned out just like the others. But he slapped my thoughts away as he said he would did what I wished or wanted and he would told the others to just leave me and my choices alone and to not bother too much. He also told me he was in the middle, he didn't on my side or the boys, he didn't tell me what I did was true or what the boys did was matter of factly made sense. He was on both sides. It was his responsibility to keep us in peace and not gonna break into pieces. I understood. That day, I kept holding onto him and he whispered promises and sweet words in my ear that made me fell asleep.

That time I didn't understand. But now I do. I love Emmett, I love Garrett, I love Jasper, and I've told them that. They are like my brothers, now. I don't really understand what love should do but I just understand this feeling has a name. And it's love as they say it. I don't know why they made these four letters to express the feelings that hang inside hearts. But I know that I love it the first time he said that word directly to me years ago.

_I love you. _

And I love him equally. More than I love the boys. Even though I don't know if that love still hangs inside his heart like before or _not_.

**A/N: See you in the next chapter x**


	3. Chapter 2: Blue

Chapter 2 - E

I stare back, my eyes boring to his. He is looking at me in disbelief or whatever it is. His mouth is gapping. He opens it then closes it, opens it again to closing it. I've counted; 7 times since I said my last words to him. I can't do anything but roll my eyes.

It's a Wednesday afternoon. Windy time in New York. I woke up this morning with heavy thoughts that haunt me since the day I finished high school. These thoughts are devils. Took me half an hour to finally got up and left these thoughts in my bedroom. I did my usual routine; brushed my teeth, had a breakfast, coffee and biscuits, a shower, and then nothing. I had nothing to do. Like really nothing. Yesterday at this time, I spent the minutes watching Spongebob. The day before, I spent it with laughing over a horror movie. _**I know.**_

After thinking for god knows how long, in my jeans and a tee, I grabbed my shades and my cap and ready to leave. I was about to get some lunch outside until my phone rang. I frowned at the stupidity. Who would call me at this time?

I picked it up and saw the caller ID. _Oh, please._

"Hello." I answered in bored.

"Hey dickie," his tone was cherish and I could hear the noises at the background.

"Huh, you and your naughty mouth, Jacob, what is there that get you here?" I said to him as I walked back to my kitchen and got some cig.

I heard him laughing for a moment before he continued. "I just want to tell you that your daddy's shit is fucking crazy, you know."

I sighed and dumped my body to the couch. "What has he done now?"

I lit one cig and waited for him to spoke. I heard him sighed loudly like he was bringing some 500 pounds weight or something.

"Look, shitass, I know you could careless but I just.. The things that I heard…I really couldn't believe it," his voice was low yet held angriness.

"You shouldn't believe what you heard, Jake, you know it," I inhaled a full lungs out of my cig and exhaled heavily.

"I know," he spoke quietly. I waited for him to speak again. I heard him took a deep breath and some paper being flipped _or fisted_. "You should hear this, if this is true, well, your father is really an evil and deserves the deepest down of hell."

I chuckled funnily. He was. And he did.

"What is it, J?"

"Do you remember two years ago when I told you there was a new girl that joined your dad's shitass group?" he said tentatively.

I smirked knowingly. "Which group? Could you be more specific?"

He snorted. "Don't play dumb with me, Cullen,"

"Mmm?" I hummed through my cig in question.

"Of course 'The Malvivente' one. Do you think this pretty girl will join your dad's lame golf group?"

I laughed freely and suddenly his word caught me. "Pretty, huh?" I asked in a teasing tone and chuckled.

"Whatever," he scowled. I heard a click of lighter at the back of the phone. Some more deep breaths and he spoke up. "Cullen," he stopped to have my full attention. "Your father make that girl a prostitute," he sighed.

"Look, Edward. It's not what you think it is. Please, son, let me mind my own business. You don't have to tell me what to do, you know that." he raises his eyebrows for understatement.

Huh, come on.

"I didn't know how much a dick you are until now." I dart my eyes to him. What a dick, really. Looking at him now, I thank god I wasn't coming from his sperm. If I were, I would already flip and kill him right away.

I was adopted by his wife, a lovely, caring woman, named Esme. I love her with my whole life. I was nothing but a lost kid with my only friend, Jacob. I lived with him and his poor old grandmother since I was 3 or something. Why I was alone? Simple. I had no idea. I can't remember things. Hell, I can only remember the first day Jake's grandma welcomed me to her house with Jake beside her, clutching her clothes and me, I was held by a hand in front of Jake's house. I remember her skirt, her soft hand, the bracelets around her wrist, but when I tried to look up at her I couldn't see her face because she was wearing a big black hat. When I tried to remember more of her face, the blood in my head raised up and I got a headache. So I don't want to remember her face. The last thing I remember about her was when she pulled my hand to Jake's grandmother and loosened her grip until I felt the cold of the weather and then she gone.

It isn't like I'm trying hard to remember these things. No way I would like to remember my past, but they are the ones that come to me, through my dreams.

_Every single night_.

The only thing I love about my past is the day when Esme adopted me. I was so happy, I cried in her arms. I was ten that time.

I didn't really know Carlisle since I was adopted. He was a busy business guy. He would came home and said hello to me but nothing more. I spent all these days with Esme. Just both of us. Perfect days they were.

Two years after, Esme died because of leukemia. I watched the steps. The day she looked pale, the day she passed out when we were playing at the garden, the day she coughed blood, the day she was laying on the hospital bed, and the day her heartbeat on the monitor turned to be a straight line and just made a sound. I was there. I could still hear the sound of that fucking thing buzzing in my ears. But him? He just came after Esme was covered with cold and pale.

The days after she left felt the same like my old days before I met her. Alone and empty.

"How long?" I blurt to him after remembering these memories. He is sitting on his chair, hands clapped together on the desk, eyeing me like a whore.

"It's none of your business, young man," he said bitterly.

He's always like this. Prestigious, and an expert emotion controller. He would actually had a gun on his forehead and just stared at whoever pointing it to him without a fear or anything else in his eyes. And I hate that. Or _envy_ that.

"Old man, old man," I look up at the ceiling. "How many more days do you want to be here controlling this company?"

He is quiet. I start again.

"If I were you, Carlisle, I would love to control this company for the rest of my life. I mean, why not? This shit is big and you made it this big with your own hands. But you know, there are always obstacles." I stop everything I do to look at him. I move closer to him until we are inches away and speak up.

"Mom and grandma spent all their savings from what they got from you to me. It's written on papers, do you remember? So I get two times of my money from you and since the day they died, you really don't want to know how much money I have in my bank, do you?" my voice is deep and full of knifes but he just stares.

"If you dump me out of your life, I'm fine, because you will still spent your money to me 'til the day you died and it's too, wrote down on a paper. And if you died, this thing," I stand up and spread my arms. "This number fucking one movie company in the industry," I come close to him again. _**"**__Will be mine__**,"**_ I speak clearly and still, he just stares.

I move my body and sit back. "Well, now. Since you seem very healthy and no shit way going to die, I still can take this shit from your hands by just open my mouth to the world." I have no interest in taking the company from his hands. He had this company for a long time and did well controlling it. Even though I know this company will be mine by the time, I still can't imagine doing it now. "Do you want me to tell the world about your dirty sick little business, Carlisle?" But if it's what it takes to make his evil mind stop, I will do everything. I lock my eyes to his to show him the seriousness in my gaze.

He clears his throat. "What do you want?" I expect his voice to be shaky or dreadful but still, _calm__**.**_

The second Jacob told me about what he heard, I was all tensed up and in shock. I knew he was an evil but I didn't expect him to be this evilly. I tried to calm myself with some suspects. _Maybe it was that girl who sold herself to him? Maybe the girl was already a prostitute herself before joining the group? Or maybe the news isn't true at all?_

I told Jacob then to e-mail me her profile. I wanted to know if this girl was a good or not. I swore to myself I'm gonna kill Carlisle if this girl was a good.

It took some minutes for the e-mail to come and I looked at her profile eagerly. She had a short history of life, I swore. I had finished and about to close my laptop until another e-mail came up. I opened it and it showed a picture of a girl with her name written under it.

"I want to meet her," I say nervously to him. I look up at him with a gaze full of hope. The angriness was long gone. I am now a small, lost boy in front of him again. _I really want to meet her. _

His blank stare too, now loosen up and turns into a soft one. He sighs and speaks up to me. "Okay."

* * *

Damn, she looks really fucked in this picture with the black eyeliner that covered her sleepy eyes but I can see some prettiness. Her eyes, are bright blue and pretty. She just doesn't look like the sweet type, but, who am I kidding? Of course she is not. She joined that group, dammit. Why would I think she loves these flowers and romantic dinners?

I'm probably the creepiest guy in this world. But I've been staring for like I don't know, have been here since the morning. And now it's twelve p.m.

Yesterday ended up with Carlisle arranging the date for me to meet her. And the date is tomorrow, in my place. He said that she just finished her last filming four days ago and if I want to meet her, the reason should be for work. If it's not for the work, she won't come and see me. But I have another plan.

The thought makes me grin.

Removing the laptop from my lap, I walk to grab my beanie. I take a look at the mirror on the wall beside the dining table. It's a wall covered by mirror, and the dining table is at the right side of it. When I cook, I can see my reflection from head to toe by just turn around. It's artistic.

I tidy my hair and put on my dark blue beanie. Early October wind in here could blow my head off. I straighten my jacket until I hear a knock on the door. I move my feet quickly and get the door open.

The sight makes my blood speed up.

And shoot my heart into pieces.

"Kate?" the name of the woman I worshipped for four years slips out of my mouth. The woman that made my heart fluttered every time she was near. The woman that made me knew the meaning of love. The woman that made every second that we spent together precious. The woman that didn't understand that I would sawed my hands off for her. The woman that made me died because of the pain in my chest after she left me. And the woman that is now standing in my front door with her palm over her mouth, eyes that made me lost are making waterfall down her cheeks, and knees that shiver and cannot take any of the load she brings, all these things that makes me want to give my shoulder to her, give her the warmth she always loved, and wrap her until the world is just us.

So I do all these.

I sit her on the couch and wrap her close. Moving my hand up and down her arm for comfort. Whispering things on her ear to make her realize that I'm here. All those past were forgotten. All I want is for her to calm down, to stop wetting her cheeks, to stop shaking her chest. Because I can't.

I can't see women cry.

How could you make those beautiful angels cry? How could you hurt them while the only thing that makes this world bright was their smile?

Minutes pass by, her chest stops shaking and she seems to calm down. All I can hear is her peaceful breath and I think she is asleep. My lunch outside plan is totally canceled so I order some pizza for us, knowing we would talk and stay here until whenever it is.

The pizza comes not long after Kate wakes up and goes to the bathroom. I pay the bill and put the pizza on the table. Carrying two cokes from the kitchen to the living room, Kate gets out of the bathroom with her hair now in a ponytail. She looks better. We throw our bodies on the couch, Kate eagerly opens the pizza while I turn on the tv and put _How I Meet Your Mother_ on.

We eat and we laugh until there's no more pizza left and the show is over.

We both stay silent, enjoying the pizza in our stomach and the cold coke. She's on the other side of the couch. Lying lazily with her eyes closed and her head lays on the edge of the couch. There's enough space between us. I don't want to make this wrong. We're just best friends, no more. And she knows it.

"Feeling better?" I start up, looking at her from a side.

"Much." she replies. I nod.

After another silent moment, I hear her sighs and speaks up.

"He slapped me, Edward." her voice holds the pain she was hiding. She sighs again and bites her bottom lip before a tear slips down her cheek. I come to her. Enough to make her burst in my chest, wetting my sweater. She grips my sweater tight and whimpering her hurt. "I hate him. I hate him. I hate him so much." She cries out. But I know, she doesn't. She fell for him too hard. Too hard that she left me. And these little things he did, don't make her love diminishes.

"Sshh, it's okay. I'm here." I whisper. It's not that I don't want to go to Ben and beat him. It's not that I'm scared of him. But if I do beat him, I will hurt her. And that's the last thing I need.

We stay like that until midnight.

* * *

"Hi. I'm Edward… Edward Cullen… you know? Carlisle's son." _No._

"Hey, you good? How was the flight? I'm Edward, by the way." _No._

"Hey, Bella, you want some… cock? Coke, I mean." _God fucking dammit._

The cameraman arrived fifteen minutes ago. After setting the camera, I told him to leave. But he just stared at me, with crossed arms and face that I wanted to cover with asphalt. At the end, I had to fly out fifty bucks in front of his face. And now here I am, in the bathroom, shaving, spraying fucking grape cologne to my body, putting some gel to my hair, and practicing how to greet a prostitute in front of the mirror. _Fucking lemonade._

I'm nervous about meeting a goddamn prostitute, _sweet little peanut butter and jelly_.

I can't stop pacing. I keep telling myself to stick to the plan. And at this time, I forgot all these shits I made yesterday. I'm too out of mind. These what ifs in my mind and the vision of what will happen in short of hours, freak the shit out of me. Hours? Who am I kidding, it can be minutes or seconds or faster than seconds.

I've never done this. Hooking up with some unknown. I have never. I swear to god the last time was still Kate. And it was with love still. I know, I'm probably some kind of old school or freak that had never _fuck_ in their entire life. And god knows how terrified I am right now to finally do _fuck_. Fuck a two years prostitute. Fuck.

_All I need to do is calm down. Take a deep breath and relax. No need to tense. Close your eyes and take in, hold, and take out. Do that again now take in with some classic knocking noise, hold, and take out with another knocking. Repeat. Knock in, hold, knock out. Wait, what?_

I open my eyes and wait. The same noise hitting in from my right ear to my left. Fucking great.

"Hold on a sec." I speak aloud and get my jeans on. Still buttoning the jeans, I walk out of the bathroom and pick up my belt on the hanger outside. Another knock comes out and this one is louder. _Can you just wait for a fucking second? _Putting on my belt, I unlock the door and pull open.

I just lost my shit.

Mascara and eyeliner on both eyes. Dark, chocolate, unruly, drenched hair that I really want to wash up with my grape. Pink pale lips that have a cut mark on the middle of the bottom one. She is standing with a big bag on shoulder, black coat that covered her until the knees, and left out with another black converse shoes.

After gazing up on her gesture way too long, I sink on blue bright things that almost make me want to leave this world and just stay. Stay there and never came back.

"Is your name Edward or something?" she speaks clearly and gazing me up just like what I did to her. Her voice is so strong.

"It is. Come on in." I open the door bigger to give enough space for her. And she just stuck there. Her eyes fall flat on my bare chest. I smirk.

Leaning closer until our faces are just inches, she finally leaves the stare on my chest and now the blue meet green.

"Are you gonna stare on my chest all night long or get inside and warm your freezing self, little girl?" I tease. Her cheeks seem to get coloured up with pink and I cannot hold it. My hand leaves the door handle and goes to the only heated place on her face. I run my thumb over it. Her skin is so soft and creamy. It's hard to believe this girl sells herself out to my father.

A cleared throat brings me to earth. I move my hand immediately and hide it in my pockets.

"Sorry." I step aside and she gets in without a word. I close the door behind her and lock it. I turn around to see her eyeing my apartment up and down. "Give me your coat." I say.

She turns and removes the coat from her body slowly. She gives me the coat and I put it on the hanger.

"Well, take a sit." I offer and walk to the kitchen. "Coffee or tea?" I ask.

It takes some moment for her to answer. "Coffee, thanks." she speaks the last word quietly.

I pick two cups from the drawer and turn on the coffee machine. I can see her from the corner of my eye, sitting and glancing over some frames on top of the small cupboard beside the TV table. Pouring the hot coffee into cups, I smile. My heart forces me to.

I step into her view, she startles and again, blushes. This girl just blushes a lot, doesn't she? Handing her the cup, I sit beside her and just quiet. I'm not giving too much space between us. I can hear her breath and the sound of her slurping the hot coffee slowly. I'm not uncomfortable with the space and I don't want her to. So I act. Acting like it's fine, acting like we didn't just meet, acting like we have known each other enough to be like this. But she gets this wrong.

Every hair on my body strand as I feel her tiny soft fingers on my arm, running it slowly and making circles. She moves her body closer and her breath is right on my ear. Her hand is now moving to my bare chest, lining it with the hair on the middle. My breath catches on my throat by the heat of her fingertips, it burns my skin, basically heated by the cup. And little cowboy is just so ready to held out a concert down there.

"What the fuck do you want from me?" her breaths tingle as she speaks the words on my ear.

"Nothing."

"Then, why the fuck are we sitting here, drinking coffee like fucking looney tunes?" she moves away and shakes her head.

"What? Looney Tunes? Why Looney Tunes?"

"I don't know, it just comes up to my mind because I watched that shit the whole flight and I couldn't think of anything except it now."

I can't hold the laugh that escapes through my mouth. I laugh until I make her lips lift.

"What the fuck is so funny?" she asks. I keep laughing. I can stop, but I don't and I won't. I throw my head back and close my eyes until I hear one little noise. A noise that I've been waiting for. A noise that makes the world hums, the moon peeks, and the sun shines brighter.

_She laughs. _

I open my eyes to find her laughing at me.

"What the fuck is so funny?" I say, giving back her words with a smile on my face that cannot be erased.

She stops laughing and her eyes find mine. "You."

_Closer._

"I'm sorry for making you taking a flight and watched that Looney Tunes bullshit." My voice is so dark. And so drown.

_Just 2 inches._

"Yeah." Her voice too, sounds heavy.

_She wants you to do it. Come closer._

"Yeah?" her eyes are pulling me. Pulling me closer to her.

_Just one little move._

I stop and stare at the blue. Waiting for rejection. But it never comes as she closes her eyes and I finally let go the desire. It was soft, chewable, and taste like coffee. It was blue. And so Bella. _Bella. _I will never forget this. The taste that I can only find in her. I move my head aside so we can move easier.

_Bella._

I poke her bottom with my tongue until she opens up.

_Bella, Bella._

I push my tongue further and explore. Her hand finds the back of my neck.

_Bella, Bella, Bella._

She grips the hair on my neck and pulls. Pulls like she wants to have enough of me. It doesn't hurt, I want her to do it again and again. Our tongues meet and it feels like a greetings.

_Baby Bella._

I taste and taste and taste. Never let go. I suck on her bottom and she moans. I know we need breath. But it's just too much to let go. I leave pecks before I see what I want to see. Her cheeks are pink and her lips are swollen. The view gets me thinking she wasn't a bad. She wasn't a prostitute. She was just a normal eighteen years old. But her next words sweep it away.

"Where's the cameraman?"

"I told him to leave."

"Why?"

"Because I just want you." Honesty.

Her face changes. The pink has gone, the swollen make a straight line, and her brow wrinkles. Honesty does this.

"I came here for work not because you want me to."

Reality hits like a hand flip. And I hate hand flips. Her words have me stay still and close my eyes. The last thing I want to happen was movement. But, of course, heaven is too fucking far away. She moves. I open my eyes and put the cup down to hold her wrist.

"You're not leaving." My grip is hard enough to stop her movement but not enough to shut her.

"Who the fuck are you telling me what to fucking do? Get the fuck off me." She tries to remove my hand but it only makes the grip tighter. She turns to punch me on my chest with her other hand. And it hurts. I loose the grip and groan like a fucking baby. She really is strong for a girl.

Covering the spot on my chest with my palm, I see her getting her coat and unlock the door. I forgot to take the key from the hole, damn it. How fucking stupid.

"Bella." I chase her as she gets out. She runs fast but I'm faster. I hold her arm and push her to the wall. My hands on her shoulders, forcing her to stay still. I make no space for her to get away.

"Get the fucking fuck off me. I'm not your fucking slut." She tries to break loose but I wont let her.

"Stop it." I have to tell her. "Look at me. Look at me, Bella."

She does. She lifts her head and look. The blue is darker than the last time. It holds strength and fierceness.

"You're not my slut, and I don't want you to be." I say to her eyes honestly. "I told the guy to leave was because if I can choose, I don't want to do it." I shake my head. "But if I have no choice and I have to, I don't want the cameraman to be included. So I'm just having the camera with me, not the guy. I just want you. I just want to know you." My voice is so sincere. The dark in her eyes seems to disappear slowly, words by words. "I was being nice with you because I wanted you to relax and I wanted us to just… talk first. I wanted to tell you that I don't want to do it but I screwed up. Screwed up by kissing you. I was so stupid."

I pull away from her body slightly and put my hand into my jeans pockets. She doesn't move from the spot. Her eyes are on her shoes now. I don't know why.

"But you came here for work and I know I can't change it. I'm sorry. I was an idiot to think that I could tell you what to do." I sigh. "So if we're still gonna do the _work, _I think it's the best time to do it tomorrow. You look exhausted right now. I think you should get some sleep."

She sighs and nods.

"My bed is pretty comfy, you know." The sentence makes her raises her eyebrows. "I don't know. I think it's gonna be more, you know, easier if you just take my bed to sleep and tomorrow you don't have to pay for the taxi to get here." I shrug.

I look at her to meet her confused expression.

"Don't worry, I'll take the couch." I continue and smile at her relief face. I hold out my hand for her to fill. She stares and looks up at me questioningly. I just smile wider and softer before she takes it. I feel warm again. Her hand is so small in mine. But it fits and I feel complete with it. We walk back to my apartment hand in hand and I think it's my new favorite thing.

_She_ is my new favorite thing.

**A/N: It's my first story. I'm still practicing and learning. Would you please review and send me your thoughts about it? :) see ya later!**


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